Monday, August 17, 2015

Order Out

                           Order Out
 “Vow!” all zose neat treats are for me!?” hungrily exclaimed Hans.*  He peered through his blond eyelashes to discover his mother Isa Glottonburgy* happily staring down at him.    
          
*Hans- Large Boy,Brown Hair, 9 years old, German,Neverfull, Eats everything, Lives in Germany 

    Relations- Mother: Isa Glottonburgy      Father: Kristoff Glottonburgy DEAD 

His mother Isa was the Great Great Great Granddaughter of the old witch person that lived in the Gingerbread house. So it’s no surprise that he was a little umm… Huskey. Now I know that you're wondering “destructively? Did he eat a bridge!?” And yes and no at the same time.  To be Accurate he ironically ate a dam.  This is quite funny according to the story. And I think we should get back to the story. So um… where did we leave off? Oh yes “Vow!” all zose neat treats are for me!?” hungrily asked Hans. His mother had made an amazingly gigantic meal. It was thanksgiving but the children still had to go to school “Vhy yes vecause my witlle Hansy Wansy Poo deserves them!” replied Isa Hans’ Mother.  “Vut no treats until after school vunderstand?” strictly but softly admonished Isa. “Vat! OH I mean okay. ” Loudly screamed Hans. “Now git!” jokingly insisted Isa. Hans joyfully skipped to school (which was very hard considering how umm… Round he was). One of the dikes near the school was very old and was starting to crumble.

 It was cracking and had lots of patches where various people had to fix the dike to make sure the town didn’t flood. But to Hans’ misfortune some young lad who would like to remain anonymous was playing with a ball the night before. He bounced the ball surprisingly to the exact spot where the oldest patch was and without him knowing it the ball hit the patch and it started to peel off.  At exactly 8:26 a.m.  The patch slowly made its way to the ground. Right at that time Hans’ ambled toward the exact spot where the patch fell off. “Vow! A free piece of chew chew gum!” merrily chortled Hans. He was about to gobble up the gum when he realized that it was NOT gum but a piece of tar. Now Hans isn’t the sharpest pencil in the drawer but wasn't stupid either. He then realized that if he didn’t stop the hole he would die and if he died then he would not be able to eat the ‘neat treats’.   It had not slightly occurred to his miniscule mind capacity that the whole town would be flooded and die too.  So he reached into his pocket and pulled out a stick of butter that he was saving for lunch.


Honestly I don't understand how he did it but he rubbed his butter stick onto his finger and hastily shoved it into the growing hole. He helplessly waited and waited for someone to come and bring him some food instead of helping him repair the hole or even advice on portion control. He was pitiably bored and as if it couldn't get worse it started to snow. And since he was right next to the dike the ice from the water blew over the dike and onto poor helpless Hans. Right when he was about to give up hoping that the water was frozen enough to hold up in time for home to bolt home get three hamburgers and sprint back.  Then out of the blue a random homeless guy named Joel appeared and happened to have a patch kit with him.  Then suddenly the whole population of Holland dashed to the spot Hans was.  They crowded around him and celebrated his bravery. “HIP HIP HOORAY!!”  Hans was VERY grateful and jolted home only to find all the food was gone and a pile of chicken bones all over the place. “OH! Honey is vat you?” worriedly asked Isa. “Vwat happened!?” hysterically shrieked Hans. Isa explained “vell I started to taste test all the food and it kept escalating from there! I’m sorry Hans but we can always order out.”   

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