Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate By Hannah Walker

Now I know you're thinking “Oh great it’s another version of Hansel and Gretel!”  But it’s NOT it’s a version of a story not told very often for who knows why. Now to start the story we are going to place you in the middle of the 1800’s. Exactly 30 years before the beginning of the Gold Rush a baby boy was born. His parents were rich but suddenly poor after a terrible accident. They became farmers. His mother as a result received a terrible lisp. When they were in the delivery room the baby boy’s mother had a surgical mask on and no one could understand her. She desperately wheezed “Could I have some dark chocolate please?” but it sounded like “da da da den da dama cleeze?” which her husband thought was a perfect name for the baby boy. So there it was.  He was named Damocles. Damocles lived a very difficult life mostly because of his name. And thirty years later he still didn’t understand why he was named Damocles and not one of the popular names like Benjamin or Charles.  Around the same time an unscrupulously rich baby Girl was born and named Gloria. Now let’s fast forward to around the time the Gold Rush started.

Damocles moved and built a home in California; Got married, and had a couple kids. He bitterly followed in his father’s footsteps and became a farmer. Being a farmer Damocles was very poor and didn’t make a lot of money. He had the “perfect” life as some people call it. But of course some drama happens because without drama the story would be pretty boring. He got jealous yes jealous J-E-A-L-O-U-S.  Now I know that doesn’t sound tooooo exciting but believe me it gets juicy. He was jealous partly because he had traveled all that way and hadn’t struck it rich yet. And partly not two days before today his neighbor won the best wagon award and revived a brand new oxen team paired with a brand new silver plow! What did you think I was going to say a brand new car!?  So Damocles was feeling sorry for himself and he went into town hoping to find a deal on a slightly used Oxen Team. He was briskly studying his very cheap watch when he fortunately bumped into Gloria or ‘The king of Gold’. She had been the first person to strike it rich and was often referred to as the ‘King of Gold’. “Whoa! It’s you! You’re the- the king of Gold!” stammered Damocles. “Yep it’s me and don’t ask for a loan either!” rudely drawled Gloria. “H-h-h hi your majesty!” quaked Damocles. “Hey calm down my life isn’t that great. And none of that your majesty stuff!” gruffly lilted Gloria or the ‘King of Gold’. “Your life is the best!” happily Whistled Damocles. “Yeah well how bout you take my place for a week ‘betcha couldn’t survive my life!” truthfully Joked Gloria. “Bet I could!” crossly queried Damocles “Okay I’m going on vacation next week so you can fill my spot then.” Gallantly snickered Gloria.

So that was that Damocles was going to be the ‘King of Gold’ for a week. And boy was he happy too! Bright and early he woke on be king of gold day and wolfed down breakfast. He didn’t even have time to hug his kids and wife goodbye. Damocles snuck out of the house. Unfortunately he didn’t tell his wife where he was going and boy he’s going to wish he did sooner or later. He arrived at Gloria’s amazingly big mansion and was very excited. “So you’re really going through with this huh.” Bluntly guessed Gloria. “Whoa! Where did you come from!?” franticly trembled Damocles “Never mind that well here are the keys see ya and Hawaii here I come!” jubilantly jested Gloria and with that she sped off into the sunrise. Days went bye and boy was he living the life of luxury. He was right in the middle of listening to the top 25 hit songs and brutally attacking some fried deer meat or as some people call it venison. When a bomb broke through the glass, rolled down the stairs, and exploded in the kitchen! Right at that point Damocles dropped his venison and almost puked. ”Number three!” expectantly shouted one of the servants. “What! Someone call the police or the bomb squad or the F.B.I. or my wife or something!” fearfully rambled   Damocles. “This happens all the time calm down!” calmly emitted servant number 2. ” I’m done that’s it someone get me home!” abruptly retorted Damocles. So he noisily looped home only to find his farm gone! “Honey is that you?” nervously entreated his wife. “Where is the barn!?” loudly beseeched Damocles. “You left so we left we thought you died and the worst part is I married Craig our neighbor! sobbed Damocles’ wife “ “Sorry daddy!” scornfully chortled one of Damocles’ kids. “What!!!!!!!!”Surprisingly screamed Damocles. Now I don’t think you want to listen to Damocles crying so, to end this story don’t be jealous unless you’re Damocles because in that case you have a right to be jealous. I mean c’mon! Damocles’ neighbor stealthily got his wife and won a new oxen team and silver plow. And to think it could have all been avoided if Damocles’ mother got her dark chocolate   .